Am I Prepared for Inner Peace?

I am one weekend closer to being qualified to teach yin yoga.  Either I'm actually evolving as a human or--equally possible--I'm suffering from from some sort of profound delusion or prolonged hallucination and I will eventually wake up and come to my senses.  Slowing down, enriching my mind-body connection, and developing my sense of inner calm and peace are as foreign to me as Kazakhstan.  Or ironing my clothes.  Since I'm actually enjoying it--and getting much more flexible!--maybe I won't look too deeply into my motivations or try to analyze what is driving this significant shift in perspective.  I definitely won't consider the possibility that I might be growing up [shudder].  I'll just close my eyes and relax my muscles and forward fold before I change my mind.

This weekend was focused on meditation.  I know it's a thing.  I know civilizations around the world have pursued and fine-tuned their own versions of meditation for centuries.  Maybe millennia.  I know people who do it regularly swear by it.  They claim to be calmer, more insightful, more thoughtful, less reactive, and maybe even more aware of the presence of God and the divine in their own lives.  I'll admit that even I can tell that they look different.  There's an enviable aura of calm presence around people who regularly meditate, in whatever form that meditation might take.  I believe there's something to it.  I'm going to keep doing it regularly, at least through this training, and keep an eagle eye out for any changes in my own mental and emotional equilibrium.  And if some of the knots in my neck and shoulders relent a bit, even better.

It's just hard to imagine myself as one of those people.  Anxiety, distraction, and a borderline manic level of activity are much more familiar to me than are peace and tranquility.  I'm not saying that the good vibrations emanating from the present, the grounded, and the even-keeled don't appeal to me.  It's just that those are so far away from the state of mind and approach to life that I have always known, it's hard to imagine that I could reinvent myself on that wavelength.  I'm not even completely convinced that I want to be one of those people.  How would I possibly get everything done if I don't watch TV, eat dinner, and write blog posts all at the same time?  What would I drink all day if I didn't need a steady stream of caffeine to keep me going?  When would I think of all the phenomenal ideas that I usually forget if my mind wasn't continuously exploring every option, every potentiality, and every single thing that I want to do RIGHT NOW?

Neuroscience, psychology, self-help, time management strategies, philosophy, and religion all assure me that I will actually be happier and more productive if I can find a little bit of inner peace.  All of those authorities actually agree that meditation can help me get there.  A few minutes a day of quieting my mind and directing my focus can build new neurological connections, strengthen the myelin surrounding my nerves, quiet my subconscious--or maybe my unconscious?  or my id?  I forget--and maybe help settle that swirling circle of ruminating thoughts in my brain.  I think it's worth a shot.  I think it's possible.  I think it could work for me.  I think I might even like it.  So I'm going to cross my metaphorical fingers and give it a shot.  Because if it works but I turn out not to like my newfound inner peace, I can always quit with the meditation.  I'm sure the old me will be happy to reappear without too much effort.