Why the Whole World Smells Like Pie
It's September. In DC, that means it's time for me to look longingly at my favorite boots and jeans before resentfully putting on the same sandals and dresses I've been wearing for months because the temperature is still well into the 80s. It's time for drinking half an Octoberfest beer, because the stores will sell out before the weather gets actually cool, and then setting it aside because it's just not as refreshing as it should be when you can still sit by the pool and do early-morning runs in shorts. And, of course, it's time for that other great harbinger of fall, teasing our taste buds into an unseasonable autumnal bliss: Pumpkin Spice EVERYTHING.
Disclaimer: I've never had the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. Not because I don't like pumpkin spice, because obviously, as a functional adult human, I do, and it's also not because of any principled stand against the ubiquity of this much-maligned basic beverage. It's mostly just because I like my coffee, just like my bourbon, to be unadulterated, and pumpkin spice definitely counts as adulteration. Not drinking it doesn't mean I get to miss that it is happening, however, and I will admit to taking the occasional deep inhale of the steam coming off someone else's latte when they're not listening.
In fact, the Pumpkin Spice Latte has become such a pervasive signal of September that I realized I can't remember a time before it existed, as if pumpkin spiced coffee was created at the same time as coffee itself. I think I can blame Starbucks for the proliferation of pumpkin spice foods, beverages, candles, air fresheners, and everything else that can be scented, because I actually can remember a time when I didn't have to resist four different individually pre-packaged and whimsically decorated pumpkin spice items in order to reach the register at Trader Joe's. So I'm pretty sure Starbucks was first to corner the mass-market pumpkin spice trade, and it's high time I know some more about this. After all, if the Pumpkin Spice Latte and I have to coexist, we might as well get to know each other a little.
According to Wikipedia, there's been much written about the Pumpkin Spice Latte, in publications even more august than this one, and the details don't need to be re-hashed here. Here are just the essentials you need to know: the Pumpkin Spice Latte began in limited release in 2003, which means most of the cast of Stranger Things actually have never known a non-PSL world. After years of sniping and increased skepticism about all things artificial, Starbucks introduced actual pumpkin into its mix in 2015, which is not really all that outrageous when you consider that the latte is not meant to actually taste like pumpkins because...ew. And finally, a Google search for "pumpkin spice latte" yields around 1.9 million results, proving that Starbucks might actually be solely responsible for making an entire season a little more aromatic. Cheers to you, PSL! Now just give me my black coffee.
